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The end


Today was a good day if i ever write again and i still remember it i will tell you. Tonight not good i have officially lost my mind going against the friend who has helped me most and its not helping me at all. Im so mad at myself im blinded by fury erasing everything that isnt me. Im done. I shouldnt even be here. There arent enough sorry in the world. I cant be patient im mad at myself i have boiled over. I cant take back what i said. Why cant i understand? Im so stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cant deal with this. Im sorry i bothered you. I sorry i bother you. Im sorry i breathe. I wish i didnt.

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3 thoughts on “The end

  1. Fly1623 on said:

    I have reached the end. On the inside i cant hold on. Im trying to seperate myself from everyone so i dont hurt anyone else. I cant deal with this im trying but it doesnt seem that way. Im mad at myself. I cant explain it i dont want you to understand, if you understand you will see how stupid it is. I beat myself up over little things but never in my life have a let it get to this point. This point where ive gone against a friend this a point i never want to reach again. For me not to bother you i would have to be dead. I think just thinking about you i can bother you. I feel like im a lot more than what i say but its not good what i think or say. Writing does it help. All i want to do is yell i write for the wrong reasons. Does my depression worsen during the season? Omg! If it does then i have seasonal depression or something. But before saying that i got to get diagnosed for depression and before that persuade my mom to let me do it. Im so stupid. Im sorry i breathe.. Ive never said that before.

  2. Fly1623 on said:

    Its my fault i let it get out of control saying i dont need help when i had friends telling me to get it. I know you’re busy its just my mind died. Seeing you smile in that bright room was torture he was right behind you and He was watching us. I dont belong with you at all i shouldnt have tried to make it work. There was this guy a month and 2 weeks ago posted his number online asking for suicide help..well i had texted him and he said its ok we’re back together. ~when i was in 9 or 10 grade i learned about suicide and my older friend said suicide over a bf/gf is stupid i thought that same way but now i understand how that could happen. Reading what he said though made me think that, he might have worried a lot of people for that..

  3. Fly1623 on said:

    Wow! Dont severe your ties with people over something meaningless. You never know when you might need them. I have to do a debate and the friend i went against yesterday is awesome at debating. Like really good!

say something, anything at all. i would love to hear from you :) if not, have an awesome day anyway!

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