Conversation With A Stranger. Subject: Suicide
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You and the stranger both like suicide.
Stranger: are you all right?
You: are you?
Stranger: meh im all right
Stranger: i had a migraine all day
Stranger: but its getting better now
You: that’s awesome to hear
Stranger: yeah i guess
Stranger: so now im on here trying to make it seem like i was at least a tiny bit social today
You: that’s awesome. coming here takes some courage
Stranger: for some people it does
Stranger: for others its just perversion
Stranger: but its good to know that there is also an informal support network for people who need it
Stranger: how was your day?
You: my day was ok until tonight
Stranger: oh no
Stranger: what happened?
You: i just finished talking to a guy that lives near my area, and we kind of made a suicide pact.
Stranger: well that’s no good
Stranger: i really hope you dont do that
You: part of me wants to part of me doesn’t. but he wants to, has the plan and everything
Stranger: well you should not let his decision affect you because its your life and you really only have this plane of existence to make your life better or worse
Stranger: theres no going back once you leave this plane
You: but in some places its against the law not to go through with it
Stranger: you mean to attempt it and fail?
Stranger: suicide itself is against the law too
You: it is?
Stranger: but they cant reprimand you if youre already dead
You: no i mean if i say i want to die with someone, and they die but i don’t because i changed my mind i could get arrested for helping or something
Stranger: that’s true everyehwre
Stranger: but you havent made a pact with him theres no way to legally do that so
Stranger: dont worry
Stranger: really you arent obligated to go through with it no matter what anyone says
You: i would still feel bad
Stranger: not as bad as your family would feel if you left them just because you felt obligated to follow a stranger into death
Stranger: you have to think it through and make your own decision
Stranger: he has no right to tell you to follow him
You: being blamed for someones death doesn’t feel good either. knowing you let someone die.
you’re saying really awesome stuff
Stranger: you cant do anything for him if he really wants to go through with it
Stranger: you wont be blamed, and you will be blamed moreso if you instigate his actions by helping him have the courage to do it
Stranger: instead what you should really do is try to show him how to be strong by NOT going through with it
You: i see what you mean.
Stranger: why do you want to die so badly?
You: because im not going to do good in the future.
Stranger: i feel the same way
Stranger: i feel hopeless to stop my inevitable regression
Stranger: but you dont know that for sure, if you know what i mean
Stranger: you can always change things
Stranger: and there are people who need you
Stranger: part of being healthy is not caring for yourself as much as you do for others
You: people that need me?
You: do you want to die too then?
Stranger: of course
Stranger: we all do
Stranger: but the trick is not letting your worst days get the better of you
Stranger: so you can live to see better days
Stranger: which WILL come
You: would you mind if i shared this conversation with others?
Stranger: of course
Stranger: that would be fine
Stranger: i just hope you can listen to yourself in your better moments
You: what makes you happy?
Stranger: lots of things
Stranger: being in nature, helping others, learning what interests me, trying to make a difference
Stranger: sometimes nothing makes me happy
Stranger: and i feel paralyzed
You: i understand what that’s like.
You: so do you feel like dying right now, or are you ok
Stranger: when i come on here i try to help other people and that makes me feel better about myself
Stranger: im okay now ive just got a hurt back and i hate taking pain meds beause they make me feel so strange
You: does helping others ever make you feel worse?
You: that happens to me sometimes when i cant help
Stranger: well then you have to think about why you arent able to help
Stranger: is it because you dont understand their problem?
Stranger: in those cases you have to try to directly help yourself
Stranger: just be realistic and set it up like an experiment
Stranger: self analysis is really hard
Stranger: do you know how you would like do commit suicide
You: i have different ideas of how i would like to, but im not sure if any of them would really work successfully. i have attempted before
Stranger: i have never attemtped it
Stranger: only because i know i would not fail if i did try
You: sometimes i think that, when i think about certain ways of doing it. but i hear stories of how it doesn’t always work..
Stranger: which ways do you consider?
You: i think the sure-fire way would be a gun.
the second way would be pills.
The third way would be drinking a combination of things not meant for consumption.
You: and the way that could just end wrong would be jumping off something.
You: oh! setting yourself on fire would work, but that’s a lot of pain to go through
You: i learned that today.
Stranger: i always wanted to jump off this one cliff that i know
Stranger: it’s about 700 feet down onto jagged rocks
Stranger: theres no way you would live through it
Stranger: but who are we to decide that we cant be alive anymore
Stranger: why not give your life to a better cause
You: how about wait till you’re like super old? then if by 100 you still feel the same then do it
Stranger: fuck that
Stranger: by then i wont need to kill myself
Stranger: i will have been ddead for years already ahha
You: aim for 100 , some people make it past that which is pretty awesome
Stranger: yeah my great aunt was 106
Stranger: my great grandmother ws 101
You: wow, that’s cool