Fly1623's Blog…..I like Cake

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just going to write


I gave myself an hour, to just write what’s on my mind.

Every now and then I think about dying.  When I write here I try to post information on suicide prevention, or just information about suicide and resources that could help. I guess I am a hypocrite for wanting to help save people and also just kill myself. I think that I wouldn’t want you to go, because you are awesome.  and there are a lot of awesome people in the world, and I just don’t feel that way about myself.

Would you like to read a poem?

Born Homeless

For 9 months you were safe: sheltered, protected, and guarded with care

The 9 m0nths ended, and you were born homeless.

You entered the system

Were transferred from place to place

Some warm and some cold

The rooms got smaller

The lights changed color

Then, there was the time you felt at rest

You laid against someone’s chest

Staring at teary eyes and smiles

You couldn’t grasp the attention

You arrive at a place

Get older

You’ve aged out of the system

You create you’re own wisdom

Born Homeless

once again

You take it’s hand

and show it through

only

nothing

can stop you.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

End of poem ^

I am sitting in silence, the sun still rises. Does it really surprise us, when amazing things come from inside us?

Can you imagine the pain, that you’ve never experienced? my mind is in places that there are no living people.  I wish I was dead, I wish that were true, I wish I could easily say goodbye to you. I hate goodbyes, they make me cry, I walk out of rooms quietly. I think about buildings, guns, and fire. my life is at the end of a wire, and it’s taut and ready to snap. the only thing stopping me is looking back.  you’re an awesome person, all of you.  there isn’t one person I wouldn’t be able to stand and lose, I will fight with my life to make things right, but at the end of the night im still a horrible sight. I tell lies, while I sit and cry, I am happy, yet at the same time gone.

if I disappeared it wouldn’t take long. do things get better? I have yet to find out. I guess they do if you look up instead of down. I am ashamed of myself because I am not amazing as my counterparts are. if we are in this together, is it for the right reason? every day is a perfect season.

if I tell you goodbye I would still say, but ive considered writing one final letter. whos going to care? ive done this before and always come back. the real coward iss afraid of the act.. I think of those that can  as good people. it takes courage. im not encouraging it at all.

life isn’t for suicide

im starting to fall asleep, my hour isn’t done yet.     I love you all and im sorry if that doesn’t mean much.                thank you for listening, I will try to write on weekends, or i’ll wake up really early and just give myself an hour.

I want to do more than what im doing, I feel like a crooked politician, making false promises and lying.

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say something, anything at all. i would love to hear from you :) if not, have an awesome day anyway!

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