been a while (stupidity at its finest)
whats up, I don’t know how long its been since I wrote here, I don’t even check the website anymore. and now that im typing here and knowing where it’s going to end up I wish I had more time to type everything I want to say. but I don’t have that time because I have a crap load of homework to do.
First off im not doing good im not doing well and im not doing bad. but I am not dead. I guess that’s good if you like me, right?
Second im still in college. this is my second year. im failing currently and I have one semester left to go if I pass all the things that im taking now, and Im not; yet like the person I am I told everyone and their family about. so failing is just a secret between us.
Third today sucked.
I found out that a friend of mine committed suicide on her birthday.
I got into a fight with a really good friend of mine.
I heard from someone who I was told committed suicide but then I was mean to them and they disappeared again.
I have loads of homework I just found out is due tomorrow, so I’m going to pull an all nighter trying to do it all.
I realized that I am a failure and I cried about it, in front of people.
Not important stuff: still not close to my mom. I go to group. I don’t play music anymore. I still have a youtube channel. I break things. I don’t take my medication. ive lost hope in a lot.
I might write here again soon because I missed this and I can talk her without scrutiny. I hope you are doing well.