I plan on finishing my 2 year degree in college.
I plan on moving out of the house.
I plan on killing myself.
I have had plans of better things:
getting a masters degree in social work
volunteering more
living with a friend
going different places
But
Im not doing those plans anymore.
Whats going to happen when I die? this site, and any other accounts I have on the internet will still remain active. I wont have someone continue writing here. I wont have someone notify you of me dying. the day of: im not going to say goodbye, apologize, or even do a speech.
Why do I want to die? I don’t know. I still don’t think im going to have a good future. im not looking forward to getting older. im a hypocrite telling others don’t give up when they want to die, yet im planning on dying myself. I feel like nothing I say matters, if im not going to listen to what others say as well.
Why am I going to finish getting the degree if I plan on killing myself? to make my mom happy. she wanted me to go to college even though I didn’t want to.
Why am I going to move out of the house? so my family doesn’t see it happen or have to be around to deal with everything. not sure if im just going to do it outside where there isn’t anyone, or save up money buy an apartment and do it there.
This is a spoken word piece talking about the child hood sexual abuse Huniie went through as a child. It has already helped women in domestic violence situations to realize what they and their children are going through is abuse.
Please take a moment to share it with others, you just never know who, you maybe helping.
Thank you
Huniie
http://www.huniiezxpressionz.com
they say you’re blessed to make it another year,
well what about the days before.
its all a blessing taken for granted.
whats up, I don’t know how long its been since I wrote here, I don’t even check the website anymore. and now that im typing here and knowing where it’s going to end up I wish I had more time to type everything I want to say. but I don’t have that time because I have a crap load of homework to do.
First off im not doing good im not doing well and im not doing bad. but I am not dead. I guess that’s good if you like me, right?
Second im still in college. this is my second year. im failing currently and I have one semester left to go if I pass all the things that im taking now, and Im not; yet like the person I am I told everyone and their family about. so failing is just a secret between us.
Third today sucked.
I found out that a friend of mine committed suicide on her birthday.
I got into a fight with a really good friend of mine.
I heard from someone who I was told committed suicide but then I was mean to them and they disappeared again.
I have loads of homework I just found out is due tomorrow, so I’m going to pull an all nighter trying to do it all.
I realized that I am a failure and I cried about it, in front of people.
Not important stuff: still not close to my mom. I go to group. I don’t play music anymore. I still have a youtube channel. I break things. I don’t take my medication. ive lost hope in a lot.
I might write here again soon because I missed this and I can talk her without scrutiny. I hope you are doing well.
Ever wanted to hide everything from everyone?
You can.
so I tried..
I don’t know what I wanted to say, I planned this a while ago but never wrote it. picture taken 3-30-13
Prank your friends with a phone baby and get them talking about teen pregnancy. Text back 6 friends #s and we’ll send them one. Wanna try it? Text KID
Me: KID
Alright, get some sleep, your phone baby will let you know tomorrow morning when it needs you. It will text you tomorrow over a 12 hour period. Good luck!
WAHH. Oh good, you’re up! I haven’t eaten for like 3 hours… in baby time that’s like a week. Bring me breakfast?
Me: Feeds baby milk
Nom nom nom
Me: Burps baby
What you’re saying is interesting and all, but I’d just rather play with my belly button.
Me: Changes diaper
I know you’re running late bu- GRRGLEBARFFFF. Oops, sorry about your shirt. Rappers spit rhymes, I spit up.
Me: Gives you bath
All this talking is wearing me out. Let’s play the quiet game.
Don’t blame that smell on me! You know what they say, whoever smelt it dealt it…oh wait no; sorry that is me.
Me: Changes diaper
Me: Gives bath
So fresh and so clean clean
Shhhhhhh I’m getting sleepy. Nap time.
Me: sings lullaby
WAH. WAHH. WAHHH. I don’t know how to tell you what I need, so I’m just going to keep screaming until you figure it out. WAHHHHHH. Your move, Sherlock.
Me: Hugs
All this talking is wearing me out. Let’s play the quiet game.
Me: 😦
Ever try wrestling an ostrich? That’s sort of what changing me is like. Limbs eeevverywhere. And I’m oddly slippery.
Me: Change diaper
Thanks! When you smell better, you feel better
Me: Smiles
What you’re saying is interesting and all, but I’d just rather play with my belly button.
Me: I love you
School’s out! I missed you today. Come home and feed and change me so we can playyy! I think I’m starting to get good at this peek-a-boo thing.
Me: changes you
Me: feeds you
Meh I’m sorta done listening, I’d rather just play with my feet.
Me: Are you growing?
Oh, sorry. You thought I could hold it until you got the new diaper on? My B. Cleanup on aisle me!
Me: gives you bath
All this talking is wearing me out. Let’s play the quiet game.
Me: No
Hehe I know it’s predictable, but that face you make gets me everytime. Do it again! Do it again! Send me a picture so I can remember it forever!
FLARP. Was that a poop or a fart? One way to find out!
Me: Change diaper
So fresh and so clean clean
Me: 🙂
Shhhhhhh I’m getting sleepy. Nap time.
Are you suuure you have to study for your chem test? When I don’t get enough attention, I explode. Sometimes literally.
Me: Hugs
Shhhhhhh I’m getting sleep. Nap time.
You finished the day! Want info on preventing pregnancy? Txt WAIT for waiting tips, SAFE for safe sex tips, RIGHTS for health rights, or PARENT for teen parents
Talking to friends and fam about pregnancy make it less likely to happen. Start the convo: text 5 friends’ #s to put a baby in their phone (+ enter to win 3K)
Me: WAIT
Me: SAFE
If you can’t talk openly with your parents about practicing safe sex, it’s a good idea to find another adult you trust. Text SAFE for more tips.
You look pretty beat and I’m starting to get sleepy. Sing me a lullaby and put me to bed?
Learn more about the various contraceptive methods & how to access them, should you ever change your mind. Text WAIT for more tips.
There are nearly 50 different brands of birth control pills. Text SAFE for more tips.
Me: SAFE
Me: SAFE
You can still get pregnant if you have sex while you’re on your period. Text SAFE for more tips.
Me: SAFE
Condoms are sold at pretty much every drugstore and grocery store. They are often free at family planning or STD clinics. Text SAFE for more tips,
Me: WAIT
Abstinence is the only 100% surefire way to prevent pregnancy. Text WAIT for more.
Me: WAIT
Abstinence means that you are not having sexual intercourse. Text WAIT for more info, or SAFE, RIGHTS, or PARENT
Me: SAFE
When used correctly, condoms are 98% effective at preventing pregnancy. Text SAFE for more tips.
Me: PARENT
A lot of orgs help pregnant teens w/ info, prenatal care, etc. Start by looking local Department of Health/ Department of Human Services. Text PARENT for more.
Me: RIGHTS
26 states and the District of Colombia allow all minors (12 and older) to consent to contraceptive services. Text RIGHTS for more tips.
Me: RIGHTS
For example, all 50 states allow minors to consent to STI services without parental permission. Text RIGHTS for more tips.
Me: RIGHTS
All states have different laws in terms of receiving sexual health services. Text RIGHTS for more tips.
Me: PARENT
The US government offers nutrition and health help to moms who need it through its WIC (Women, Infants, and Children) program. Text PARENT for more tips.
Me: WAIT
Embrace the awkward. Tell ur bf or gf that you know it’s not easy to talk about, but it’s been on your mind. Chances are, they feel the same. Text WAIT for more.
Me: WAIT
You don’t have to be a virgin to be abstinent, you can choose to abstain at any time. Text WAIT for more tips.
Me: PARENT
If you think you might be pregnant, you should get a pregnancy test right way to find out for sure. Text PARENT for more tips.
Me: WAIT
Plan in advance how you will say “no” to sexual activities. Text WAIT for more tips.
Me: SAFE
Types of contraceptives: Abstinence, male/female condom, the pill, the shot, the patch, the ring, diaphragm, cervical cap, IUD & implant. Text SAFE for more.
Me: RIGHTS
26 states and the District of Columbia allow all minors (12 and older) to consent to contraceptive services. Text RIGHTS for more tips.
Me: PARENT
A lot of orgs help pregnant teens w/ info, prenatal care, etc. Start by looking local Department of Health/ Department of Human Services. Text PARENT for more.
Me: SAFE
A sexually active teen who doesn’t use contraception has a 90% chance of becoming pregnant within a year. Text SAFE for more tips.
Me: PARENT
A lot of orgs help pregnant teens w/ info, prenatal care, etc. Start by looking local Department of Health/ Department of Human Services. Text PARENT for more.
Me: PARENT
If you think you might be pregnant, you should get a pregnancy test right away to find out for sure. Text PARENT for more tips.
Me: PARENT
The US government offers nutrition and health help to moms who need it through its WIC (Women, Infants and Children) program. Text PARENT for more tips.
Me: PARENT
If you think you might be pregnant, you should get a pregnancy test right away to find out for sure. Text PARENT for more tips.
Me: SAFE
Condoms are sold at pretty much every drugstore and grocery store. They are often free at family planning or STD clinics. Text SAFE for more tips.
Me: WAIT
You always have the choice to decide to hold off from having sex (in or outside a relationship). Text WAIT for more tips.
Me: WAIT
More than one half of high school teens have not had sex. Text WAIT for more tips.
Me: WAIT
It helps to be honest with the person you’re dating early on that you plan to be abstinent. Text WAIT for more tips.
Me: RIGHTS
All states have different laws in terms of receiving sexual health services. Text RIGHTS for more tips.
Me: WAIT
Plan in advance how you will say “no” to sexual activities. Text WAIT for more tips.
Me: WAIT
You don’t have to be a virgin to be abstinent, you can choose to abstain at any time. Text WAIT for more tips.
Me: WAIT
More than one half of high school teens have not had sex. Text WAIT for more tips.
Me: SAFE
There are nearly 50 different brands of birth control pills. Text SAFE for more tips.
Me: SAFE
If you can’t talk openly with your parents about practicing safe sex, its a good idea to find another adult you trust. Text SAFE for more tips.
Me: SAFE
If using condoms, always pick a lubricated condom, the lubrication can help prevent breakage. Text SAFE for more tips.
Me: SAFE
Condoms are sold at pretty much every drugstore and grocery store. They are often free at family planning or STD clinics. Text SAFE fore more tips.